he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
