Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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