so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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