chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
His nipple licking is glorious
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