yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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