Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize