exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
