What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
