he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
