:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
