You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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