it was like his penis was on wheels.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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