yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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