If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
