Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I bet he comes in French.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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