Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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