i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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