we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
