Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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