and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
