..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
