im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
