was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i think my cat just said my name.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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