Already got asked if we're dating
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Randomize