The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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