He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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