I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
