Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
