Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We're too hungover to prance.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
