Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
