i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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