this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
