I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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