I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
