Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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