at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
