a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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