you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
