If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
They have beer where we have blood.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
