I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
