I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
