sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
