I'm lost and stupid without you.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
