Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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