Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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