Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
