no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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