Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
