His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
