i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
