I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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