Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
