i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
