I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
