exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
