whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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