honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
