so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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