You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she peed on how many people?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
