i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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