don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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