Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
