This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
