Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
