Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
