Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You're like the curious george of whores
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
