did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
