Yo dont text me then not text me
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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