ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize